The Downfall of Harry Potter
by Eruvande Snape
Summary: The Harry Potter characters meet an untimely death. Warning: Character Death Lots of it. Nonsense everywhere. Rating change to be safe. Kinda has a mention of slash. Some swearing.
1. Bad Squirrely

_**A.N. **Really short...obviously._

_Story started as a series of instant messages to one of my friends_

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Once upon a time there was a boy named Harry Potter.

One day while Harry was walking through the garden behind his relatives' house he saw a squirrel.

He went up to the squirrel and said, "Hello little squirrely, how are you today?"

The squirrel just looked at him.

"What have you been doing lately little squirrely?" Harry asked.

The squirrel just looked at him.

All of a sudden the squirrel jumped up on Harry and............mauled him to death.

The End?


	2. Squirrely Revealed

_Okay, I wasn't going to write another one but I changed my mind._

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The darkness that covered the world after Harry Potter's untimely downfall, terror reigned.

"Ha ha, finally" Voldemort shouted, "I have defeated the Great Harry Potter!"

"My Lord," Lucius said, "wasn't potter killed by a squirrel?"

"Crucio!" Voldemort only held the curse momentarilly before lifting it and speaking. "I do have an animagus form you know."

"You're a squirrel?" Lucius gasped.

Voldemort's eyes widened in fear. "Avada Kedavra!"

And thus ended Lucius' life, for he knew too much.

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_I know, you think I've lost my mind, well...I have. _

_There is going to be a whole series of stories just to let you know._

_My friend Kirsten is helping me with the ideas and stuff for them._


	3. The Avenger

_Finally, another one. It's actually been done for awhile now but in all honesty, I was too lazy to type it. Sorry_

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"My Lord" Draco bowed to Voldemort before rising and taking a step back.

"Draco, I have called you here to tell you that you're my new right-hand-man." Voldemort smiled, though it looked more like a grimace.

"No," Draco said flatly.

"Excuse me?" Voldemort hissed.

"I loved my daddy. And I loved Harry. I hate you and I'll kill you for killing them."

"You can't kill me boy, you're not powerful enough."

"I may not be a very powerful wizard, but I have always been fascinated by muggles." Faster than you could see, Draco pulled out a pistol and fired one shot.

The bullet hit Voldemort in the head and he slumped to the ground.

Draco burned the body with his wand and paused.

"Oh the irony," he smiled. "A muggle-hater killed by a muggle weapon." He laughed softly and left the room.

Draco had done his job. His lover and father had been avenged.

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_YEA!!! More total randomness!!!_


	4. Disgrace

_I know it's been a while since my last update, and I actually have the first eight chapters done, but like I said before, I hate typing, so it'll take a while.

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_

"You're and abomination to this family!" Narcissa shouted. "Get out of this house!"

"No! I am the Malfoy heir and Daddy left everything to me in his will." Draco said.

"I don't care. I will not have a fag tainting the Malfoy name." Narcissa growled.

"You don't have a choice. I'm staying. If you don't like it you can leave."

"Oh, I won't be the on leaving." Narcissa purred in a sickly sweet voice.

"What do you mean?" Draco grimaced, his head was starting to really hurt.

"I told you, I won't have such unnaturalness degrading the family name."

Draco gasped, his hands going to his head. "What did you do?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"A simple potion. All I had to do was slip it in your precious hair gel. I don't think you have much time left." Narcissa laughed sadistically.

"At least I'll be able to be with Harry forever now. Just think of all the shagging we can do." Draco fell to the ground in pain.

"NO!" Narcissa screamed. "I forbid you to see him."

"To late." And with that, Draco died.

And Draco and Harry haunted Narcissa for the rest of her short life, turning up all the time to make out in front of her and her guests.

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_Poor Draco. I feel kinda bad about killing him, but it had to happen. All will die by the time I finish!! Mwahahahahahahaha._


	5. Vanity

_**I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!**_

_I know it's been a **long** since my last update, and I actually have the first eight chapters done, but like I said before, I hate typing, so it'll take a while.

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_

One day at the Malfoy Manor.

"Narcissa, where's Draco?" Severus asked. "He hasn't been to school in a week."

"He won't be coming to school anymore. The little fag went to live with his disgusting lover." Narcissa sneered in both contempt and disgust.

"_Excuse me_?" Severus was shocked.

"I won't have that **queer** soiling his father's name, so I killed him." Narcissa smiled proudly.

"You bitch. How could you do something like that? You prejudice wench. You do know your own husband was bisexual don't you?" Nearly shouting, Severus stalked to Narcissa, who of course wouldn't back dowm.

"You're Lying!" She screamed

"No I'm not." With that Severus slapped her.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, his nails dug into her skin causing four long gashes to appear on her face.

Narcissa's hand flew to her face. She felt the scratches and blood. Taking her hand down she looked at the blood horrified.

"No, no" she murmured. "I can't believe you...no" Narcissa started to hyperventilate

All of a sudden she clutched her chest. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed to the floor, dead.

And in the background voices could be heard snickering.

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_Poor Draco. I feel kinda bad about killing him, but it had to happen. All will die by the time I finish!! Mwahahahahahahaha._

_**Amber-eyez456: **Happy now? I shall endeavor to type the rest of the ones I have written this weekend. I don't know how far I will get though. My parents are already being arses._

_**Master Moose:** Thank you for your review also._


	6. Batty Love

_Thank you Kirsten for the addition of your two commas to my written copy of this chapter.

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_

"Why Severus, why? What did she do to you? Why did you kill her?"

"She killed Draco, Minerva. Why do you care anyway?" Severus asked

"I loved her, Severus. Now she's gone." Minerva sobbed into her hands.

"Minerva, she killed Draco because he was gay."

"I hate you!" Minerva grabbed her wand and uttered a spell at Severus.

When the clouds of smoke dissipated Severus was gone. In his place though was a small bat.

Minerva stalked away and Severus, still being disoriented, didn't see Mrs. Norris creeping up on him.

Mrs. Norris jumped on Severus and sank her fangs into his flesh. Severus squeaked and struggled, but it was no use.

Mrs. Norris ate him.

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_**Really, really short I know. Well, at least short when compared to some of the other chapters I have written. It just happened that way though.**_

_**Kirsten: **I found a comma you didn't add._

_**Amber:** YAY! Another chapter posted. Still working on writing the ninth though. I'm kinda worried about your mental stability tough. I really, really miss you a lot. Kisses and Hugs_


	7. Bird Brain

_Another shorter one. Only 134 words.

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_

"Minerva," Albus sighed. "You can't go around killing the teachers."

"But Albus, he killed Narcy!" She wailed.

"I know, but two wrongs do not make a right. I'm sorry, but you will not be able to work here anymore."

"No Albus. You can't be serious!" Minerva said frantically. "This is all I have." She started to pace wildly before turning abruptly and pointing her wand at the Headmaster.

"Fawkes!" Albus shouted.

Before Minerva could utter a word Fawkes swooped down on her and latched on to her face, ripping the skin.

Minerva shrieked as Fawkes clawed at her, eventually slicing her neck. She died only a minute later from blood loss and lack of air.

Albus shook his head sadly. Now he had to find two new teachers.

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_**Amber:** I read your profile. Unfortunately, my email account seems to be having difficulties. When I first enter, it tells me I have 1 new message. When I go to the inbox there are none. I hope you haven't emailed me lately, because I haven't gotten it. Luv ya babe. Kisses and hugs -JD_

_**Rory-Lighten:** I know what you mean. I shudder when I see a squirrel now. :)_


	8. Lemony Gasps

_Sorry for the wait.

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_

Dumbledore sat in the minister's office. He knew what thid was about. He just didn't know what was going to be done about it.

"Albus, I cannot condone this behavior!" Fudge shouted. "We have a hard enough time trying to find a professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now we have to find professors for potions and transfiguration as well."

Dumbledore sighed. "I know Cornelius. Minerva attacked me though. Surely you must understand why it was necessary."

"NO! I don't see the necessity." Fudge was outraged. "You're a wizard for Merlin's sake. You could have stunned her."

"Honestly Cornelius, you are blowing this way out of proportion." Albus reached into his robes and pulled out a bag, taking out a small candy and popping it in his mouth. He held the bag towards the minister. "Would you like a lemon drop?"

"No Albus." Fudge looked exasperated. "I'm sorry Dumbledore but if you can't take this seriously and maturely, I'm afraid I'll have to let you go."

The Headmaster's eyes widened in shock and he gasped. At least he tried to. The small candy got in the way though and he started to choke.

"Albus, are you alright?" Fudge stood up as Albus fell to the floor, hands at his throat.

Cornelius watched in fascination as Dumbledore writhed, lips turning blue. The struggles eventually slowed though and finally stopped.

The minister bent over the rapidly cooling body. "Well, at least that saves me from having to fire him. That would surely ruin my reputation." Fudge left his office, notifying his secretary to bring a couple aurors in.

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_Hey Amber, it's been a long time before I've talked to you. Please get in contact._

_For everyone else, I will try and write a new chapter soon. If somebody wants to help, you can e-mail me and I can give you an over view of what I'm doing._


	9. Don't Know Note

**Don't Know, Don't Know, Don't Know**

I have abso-bloody-lutely _no_ clue what to do next. I know I want Vernon to kill Fudge, but I can't think of a _good_ way to do so.

If anyone can thing of anything, _please, please, please_email me.

When the new chapter gets posted, this note will be taken down


End file.
